Tuesday, April 24, 2012

How to resolve a fight ending up to a silent treatment

Now a few days ago I threw one of the worst bitch fits I have ever thrown in my life, causing a lot of hurt towards people who I care about.

Luckily I managed to resolve a few except there were big problems. It has also made me realize a lot about myself, that

a) I get mad easily
b) I act before I think
c) If I dont get enough sleep and drink a lot of caffeine, I should better be alone without any technological device
d) I should shut my trap

Now one of these people have been giving me the silent treatment, I panic mode called, emailed, text and even sent several IM messages (offline messages, unless I was being blocked) and received no response.

I have just came out of a bad and hurtful situation a while ago and my wounds have healed but the experience was traumatizing, so I did not bother to check my other social mediums if I received a response. I would rather not know, not now at least.

The diplomatic part of me want to resolve problems, mostly because it will help me in life knowing that someone has bore witness to my weakness and I want to rise above it. Among other things...

I've searched high and low how to resolve or survive a silent treatment and I thought this advice was definitely funny and might possibly work, if you want..

Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
My view on the silent treatment has always been this: Your ability to screw with them actively will always trum their ability to screw with you by not saying anything.

"Hey, I'm just going to borrow this for a moment. Do you mind? Good."

"Hey did you hear [Insert evil story about them here]?"

Simply sit down somewhere in their personal space, and begin chattering about a topic you know they find inane. Sprinkle in a few "Just let me know if you have work to do." or the like. 
 
 
 
 
 
 Anyway it is a long shot. If you don't mind or can take a risk it is worth it..
 
 

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

You freaked out on him..the poor guy..so how do you fix it?

This year and 2 years ago i learned a lesson, welll a lot.
why cant we all just be heartless sluts? its easier and more satisfying..less painful. its the way to go!

A few things

1) the one who cares less has the power
2) if u nag and whine a lot he will leave u, it does not matter if u are beautiful, educated, sexy, if u are not that good looking or smart you will keep him as long as u shut that TRAP.
3) if u nag and whine due to the fact that there is a problem that u feel cannot be resolved, and the first two times u approached it and it still did not resolve then by God it will NOT.
so stop whine and nagging about it, find a way to get over it if u still want him
4) i suggest buying a punching bag to relieve u off anger and temper
5) last resort Valiums for anxiety attack - will help you against calling him or sending him so many TLDR messages (too long, didnt read)
6) AT ALL COSTS IF U HAVE TO CUT OFF UR FINGER OR UNPLUG UR PC do not send him any email, instant message or God Forbid DO NOT CALL. absolutely do no call. calling is the worst mistake ever and so are emails because what goes on the internet stays on the net FOREVER.
7) if you end up screwing up you can use these excuses:

a)it wasnt me, it was my doppleganger, mariska..shes a blonde russian. i locked her up in the cellar now you wont hear from her again
b)i was pms'ing
c) i swear it wasnt me somebody mustve gotten on my phone, IM, email account 
d) if you really want to insist, then try sincere apology "From the bottom of my heart..." (but read number 8)

8) do not I REPEAT do not ever tell them the real reasons why u freaked out in the first place..even if u think its going to help (for reference read number #3) it will not work he will think youre a fucking psycho
9) always do what is asked of u 
10) listen and remember
11) a sex clip or some tasteful naked photos might help but I am not sure if its going to be a long term fix or a momentary (do at your own risk)
12) always always have more than 1 guy, focusing on one guy makes u complacent and treat him like he has an obligation to your every mood, dilemma, mood swing, pms, insecurity, childhood issues, past hurts. if u have more than 1 guy it makes u focus less on one guy (and less risk of freaking out)
13) it helps to KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND DONT BELEIVE IN EVERYTHING YOU THINK
14) if situation can't be alleviated, LEARN FROM YOUR LESSON
15) whats the worst that can happen? you havent seen anyone more good looking and smarter than you so whats the problem?
16) do not chase after a guy in the first place, he needs to choose YOU. if you chase a guy who didnt choose you you will lead a life of being with someone who is unsure of you because it is a masculine personality to chase a guy (aka he didnt work hard for it)
17)your thoughts are powerful. control it and dont everthink of negative stuff just phase it out of your head. believe that nobody will hurt you on purpose and that he is not and will not hurt you on purpose
18) dont get stuck on incorrect perception, logic will really help even if you dont feel like being logical.
19)there is no sense in worrying about something THAT HASNT HAPPENED YET
20) Life and love is easier than you think it doesnt have to be dripping with drama and tears and pain 

a long but good advice i found on plenty of fish:


I jumped to the conclusion he was playing me and faked genuine interest and was avoiding me. I confronted him asking him what the deal was and now he thinks I'm crazy.


First of all, I think it's a good sign that you recognize your thinking and your actions as the real culprits here.

How do you resolve it? You mean as in apologize for jumping to conclusions and for whatever behavior you demonstrated toward him that made him think you were crazed? Try a sincere apology. "From the bottom of my heart..."

That's also a wake up call to not jump to conclusions anymore and to not react the way you've done. 

The last guy blew you off allegedly because you refused him sex. Okay, losing a guy like that, you're not going to get upset, right? It's just frustrating to come across the fact that many of these guys you meet turn out to be real winners in the end. 

So, instead of letting the frustrations mount and freaking out, what can you do proactively to help avoid meeting people like that? What steps can you take to weed them out? What is it about them that attracts you to them? Think about these things and see what answers you get.

Then also, if someone does choose to move along and disappear, decide that it's not going to affect you. That you have the ability to control how you react. That you recognize it says something about them and not you, true?






Hello shimmy_69,

I see this from a different perspective. sure you acted on a feeling and thought based on something you perceived as a behavior common to people who aren't interested or perhaps players. That doesn't make you crazy or unreasonable just makes you hypersensitive to that issue. You just met the fella, and there are a lot of players out there we keep reading about it all the time don't we? 

The thing here is this if he can't see that well i think your better off. He obviously didn't care enough to understand you fully did he? Well wouldn't you want to be with someone who is a little more sensitive then that? Its obvious you are worried about being played so relaxing isn't going to make the fear go away. 

Taking things slowly and getting to know someone without any expectations is a good start. Know that you are going to falter and so is everyone else. He didn't seem that great to me if that was his reaction, to someone who was hurting. 

so both of you didn't behave in a way that brought you closer. Not just you!!!! No one is perfect, its when we can accept people for who they are and where they are at any given time that brings us closer together. We shouldn't have to hide parts of ourselves just to make ourselves more attractive, or convenient for the other person. If your scared your scared, doesn't mean you'll always be scared. Same for emotions. 

wish you the best,
crazylilting



Well thats it for now. 

annie " i make the mistakes, so you don't have to" f