How to resolve a fight ending up to a silent treatment

Now a few days ago I threw one of the worst bitch fits I have ever thrown in my life, causing a lot of hurt towards people who I care about.

Luckily I managed to resolve a few except there were big problems. It has also made me realize a lot about myself, that

a) I get mad easily
b) I act before I think
c) If I dont get enough sleep and drink a lot of caffeine, I should better be alone without any technological device
d) I should shut my trap

Now one of these people have been giving me the silent treatment, I panic mode called, emailed, text and even sent several IM messages (offline messages, unless I was being blocked) and received no response.

I have just came out of a bad and hurtful situation a while ago and my wounds have healed but the experience was traumatizing, so I did not bother to check my other social mediums if I received a response. I would rather not know, not now at least.

The diplomatic part of me want to resolve problems, mostly because it will help me in life knowing that someone has bore witness to my weakness and I want to rise above it. Among other things...

I've searched high and low how to resolve or survive a silent treatment and I thought this advice was definitely funny and might possibly work, if you want..

robertliguori Guest

Join Date: Mar 2002

My view on the silent treatment has always been this: Your ability to screw with them actively will always trum their ability to screw with you by not saying anything.

"Hey, I'm just going to borrow this for a moment. Do you mind? Good."

"Hey did you hear [Insert evil story about them here]?"

Simply sit down somewhere in their personal space, and begin chattering about a topic you know they find inane. Sprinkle in a few "Just let me know if you have work to do." or the like. 

 

 

 

 

 

 Anyway it is a long shot. If you don't mind or can take a risk it is worth it..

 

 

You freaked out on him..the poor guy..so how do you fix it?

This year and 2 years ago i learned a lesson, welll a lot.

why cant we all just be heartless sluts? its easier and more satisfying..less painful. its the way to go!

A few things

1) the one who cares less has the power

2) if u nag and whine a lot he will leave u, it does not matter if u are beautiful, educated, sexy, if u are not that good looking or smart you will keep him as long as u shut that TRAP.

3) if u nag and whine due to the fact that there is a problem that u feel cannot be resolved, and the first two times u approached it and it still did not resolve then by God it will NOT.

so stop whine and nagging about it, find a way to get over it if u still want him

4) i suggest buying a punching bag to relieve u off anger and temper

5) last resort Valiums for anxiety attack - will help you against calling him or sending him so many TLDR messages (too long, didnt read)

6) AT ALL COSTS IF U HAVE TO CUT OFF UR FINGER OR UNPLUG UR PC do not send him any email, instant message or God Forbid DO NOT CALL. absolutely do no call. calling is the worst mistake ever and so are emails because what goes on the internet stays on the net FOREVER.

7) if you end up screwing up you can use these excuses:

a)it wasnt me, it was my doppleganger, mariska..shes a blonde russian. i locked her up in the cellar now you wont hear from her again

b)i was pms'ing

c) i swear it wasnt me somebody mustve gotten on my phone, IM, email account 

d) if you really want to insist, then try sincere apology "From the bottom of my heart..." (but read number 8)

8) do not I REPEAT do not ever tell them the real reasons why u freaked out in the first place..even if u think its going to help (for reference read number #3) it will not work he will think youre a fucking psycho

9) always do what is asked of u 

10) listen and remember

11) a sex clip or some tasteful naked photos might help but I am not sure if its going to be a long term fix or a momentary (do at your own risk)

12) always always have more than 1 guy, focusing on one guy makes u complacent and treat him like he has an obligation to your every mood, dilemma, mood swing, pms, insecurity, childhood issues, past hurts. if u have more than 1 guy it makes u focus less on one guy (and less risk of freaking out)

13) it helps to KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND DONT BELEIVE IN EVERYTHING YOU THINK

14) if situation can't be alleviated, LEARN FROM YOUR LESSON

15) whats the worst that can happen? you havent seen anyone more good looking and smarter than you so whats the problem?

16) do not chase after a guy in the first place, he needs to choose YOU. if you chase a guy who didnt choose you you will lead a life of being with someone who is unsure of you because it is a masculine personality to chase a guy (aka he didnt work hard for it)

17)your thoughts are powerful. control it and dont everthink of negative stuff just phase it out of your head. believe that nobody will hurt you on purpose and that he is not and will not hurt you on purpose

18) dont get stuck on incorrect perception, logic will really help even if you dont feel like being logical.

19)there is no sense in worrying about something THAT HASNT HAPPENED YET

20) Life and love is easier than you think it doesnt have to be dripping with drama and tears and pain 

a long but good advice i found on plenty of fish:

I jumped to the conclusion he was playing me and faked genuine interest and was avoiding me. I confronted him asking him what the deal was and now he thinks I'm crazy.

First of all, I think it's a good sign that you recognize your thinking and your actions as the real culprits here.

How do you resolve it? You mean as in apologize for jumping to conclusions and for whatever behavior you demonstrated toward him that made him think you were crazed? Try a sincere apology. "From the bottom of my heart..."

That's also a wake up call to not jump to conclusions anymore and to not react the way you've done. 

The last guy blew you off allegedly because you refused him sex. Okay, losing a guy like that, you're not going to get upset, right? It's just frustrating to come across the fact that many of these guys you meet turn out to be real winners in the end. 

So, instead of letting the frustrations mount and freaking out, what can you do proactively to help avoid meeting people like that? What steps can you take to weed them out? What is it about them that attracts you to them? Think about these things and see what answers you get.

Then also, if someone does choose to move along and disappear, decide that it's not going to affect you. That you have the ability to control how you react. That you recognize it says something about them and not you, true?

Hello shimmy_69,

I see this from a different perspective. sure you acted on a feeling and thought based on something you perceived as a behavior common to people who aren't interested or perhaps players. That doesn't make you crazy or unreasonable just makes you hypersensitive to that issue. You just met the fella, and there are a lot of players out there we keep reading about it all the time don't we? 

The thing here is this if he can't see that well i think your better off. He obviously didn't care enough to understand you fully did he? Well wouldn't you want to be with someone who is a little more sensitive then that? Its obvious you are worried about being played so relaxing isn't going to make the fear go away. 

Taking things slowly and getting to know someone without any expectations is a good start. Know that you are going to falter and so is everyone else. He didn't seem that great to me if that was his reaction, to someone who was hurting. 

so both of you didn't behave in a way that brought you closer. Not just you!!!! No one is perfect, its when we can accept people for who they are and where they are at any given time that brings us closer together. We shouldn't have to hide parts of ourselves just to make ourselves more attractive, or convenient for the other person. If your scared your scared, doesn't mean you'll always be scared. Same for emotions. 

wish you the best,
crazylilting

Well thats it for now. 

annie " i make the mistakes, so you don't have to" f

Dont attempt to give up on something or someone.....

Who you absolutely can't stop thinking about!

That said, the year is almost up. I have a lot of fat to go.

This year has proven to be so transitional, I never thought I'd lose a lot of weight in my life and manage to keep it off. I love it, and I am going to the gym to keep it off more.

Now I have used positive thinking as well as prayers for my weight loss too, I of course add in a lot of motivation to not eat breads and cakes and red meat a lot, but here is my novena www.2heartsnetwork.org/Eucharistic_Adoration.doc not to preach or anything but it has really helped me out in the past and it has proven to be very effective. We need all the help we can get in these times. It is called 

A Quarter of an Hour before the Blessed Sacrament :) here is a quick preview (download it):

To please Me, dear child, it is not necessary to know much; all that is required is to love Me much, to be deeply sorry

for ever having offended Me and desirous of being ever faithful to Me in future.

Speak to Me of the poor you wish to comfort; tell Me all that now fills your mind and heart. Are there any you wish to

commend to Me? Tell Me their names, and tell Me what you would wish Me to do for them. Do not fear, ask for much, I

love generous hearts, which, forgetting themselves, wish well to others.

Speak to Me of the poor you wish to comfort; tell Me of the sick that you would wish to see relieved. Ask of Me

something for those who have been unkind to you, or who have crossed you. Ask much for them all; commend them all

with your heart to Me.

And ask Me many graces for yourself. Are there not many graces you would wish to name that would make you

happier in yourself, more useful and pleasing to others, more worthy of the love of Me, the dearest Lord, master, and

Spouse of your soul? Tell Me the whole list of the favors you want of Me. Tell Me them humility, knowing how poor you

are without them, how unable to gain them by yourself; ask for them with much love, that they may make you more

pleasing to Me. With all a child's simplicity, tell Me how self-seeking you are, how proud, vain, irritable, how cowardly in

sacrifice, how lazy in work, uncertain in your good resolutions, and then ask Me to bless and crown your efforts. Poor

child, fear not, blush not at the sight of so many failings; there are Saints in heaven who had the faults you have; they

came to Me lovingly, they prayed earnestly to Me, and My grace has made them good and holy in My sight.

You should be Mine, body and soul; fear not, therefore, to ask of Me gifts of body and mind, health, judgment, memory

and success. Ask for them for My sake; that God may be glorified in all things. I can grant everything, and never refuse to

give what may make a soul dearer to Me and better able to fulfill the will of God.

Have you no plans for the future which occupy, perhaps distress, your mind? Tell Me your hopes, your fears. Is is about

your future state? Your position among My creatures? Some good you wish to bring to others? In what shall I help and

bless your good will?

And for Me you must have, have you not, some zeal, some wish to do good to the souls of others. Some, perhaps, who

love and care for you, have ceased, almost, to know or care for Me. Shall I give you strength, wisdom and tact, to bring

these poor ones close to my heart again? Have you failed in the past? Tell Me how you acted; I will show you why you did

not gain all you expected; rely on Me, I will help you, and will guide you to lead others to Me.

And what crosses have you, My dear Child? Have they been many and heavy ones? Has someone caused you pain?

Someone wounded your self-love? Slighted you? Injured you? Lay your head upon My breast, and tell Me how you

suffered. Have you felt that some have been ungrateful to you, and unfeeling towards you? Tell Me all, and in the warmth

of My heart you will find strength to forgive and even to forget that they have ever wished to pain you.

And what fears have you, My child? My providence shall comfort you. My love sustains you. I am never away from

you, never can abandon you. Are some growing cold in the interest and love they had for you? Pray to Me for them; I will

restore them to you if it be better for you and your sanctification.

Update update..Sophie Dahl's amazing transition

Plus size models, I have always respected what they represent, but deep inside I don't think its right to try and tell people it's ok to have high body fat. If you look it up on Wikipedia, human beings are programmed to look for flaws and high body fat usually means more diseases (risk of heart attack, diabetes).

Let's tackle this issue a little bit more, if you DO have high blood pressure you will most likely suffer from a heart attack or fall into paralysis. High blood pressure though is easier to "fix" with the right blockers (calcium blockers, for example) but low blood pressure on the other hand (which is sometimes caused by being too underweight) will kill you easily because once your blood is low and it fails to reach your brain in time there is no way to "fix" it since you cant pump a pint-full of blood in time.

Anyway enough of that rubbish, I have been slacking off and eating junk. I don't mean eating vast amounts of donut and cakes, what I mean is I am drinking soda and eating carbs more often than usual.

I have been having trouble sleeping and carbs will help me sleep, at least for now.

Since  I have no updated pictures to upload I will just put Sophie Dahl's picture here..she has lost a lot of weight and is one of my (thin)inspirations.

I love her style with that black dress.

Diet coffee and diet orange juice

When I look into your eyes I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you, don't you know I feel the same? yeah
Nothin' lasts forever and we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle in the cold November rain



Hi guys ive completely lost a lot of weight now, but I still need a lot to work on. Obviously my stomach is very flabby due to the fact that I do not eat, so my stomach doesnt have muscles. So it cant burn fat. :(
I am going to start w/ thermogenic foods and crunches. These diet coffees and diet orange juice works for me, it's like i lost excitement for food. I used to plan what i would eat in the weekend but now i cant stand to be around food anymore. :( I think about food but they dont seem so nice or yummy when they are in my mouth. Thermogenic foods can really help you boost up your metabolism, get rid of toxins and possibly lower your blood sugar as well as blood pressure levels. It's time we put a stop to treating our tummies like its a trash can!

I am so happy with my dresses. Although i am broke and all i think about is food sometimes, the food does not seem to taste that good when i eat them. I dont understand these changes to be honest.

I was really looking for this dress:

Saw this movie called "Looker". Great movie set in the 80's but it's really very ahead of it's time.

Anyway this woman is so stunningly fit, no doubt shes a looker. :)

It's a movie about women who undergo plastic surgery to look "perfect". Then they start getting killed..Check it out, it's written by Michael Crichton (The Firm, Congo)



"Maybe it's not blood bonds that make us a family. Perhaps it's the people who know our secrets and love us anyway so we can finally be ourselves.”

April 4 Status Update :)

I have not updated for a while, things have been pretty slow on the weight loss side. I currently weigh 115 lbs or 53 kgs, and although I can finally fit on the skinny jeans I still feel really big. My tummy is big, I have cut on carbs but I have not fully committed to working out.

1 month and 10 days later

I have to admit, relying on dieting alone without exercise did not help me much. My stomach thinned a little in front but the hips/sides/handles did not seem to lose significant amount of fat.